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Dealing with anger and aggression

Managing my anger & aggression

Do you look at your anger as a problem?

How to manage your anger

Help is at hand!

General advice

  1. If you know that you have trouble controlling your anger so you can be harmful to others or yourself, then tell this to someone, you have no one to tell please send a mail to yourself.

    To realize and above all accept that you have a problem is among the most difficult in life, but tells you about it for someone else or write it down on paper, the problem becomes not only more clearly, it is also manageable!

  2. Sometimes it is difficult to deal with your anger alone, it might be an idea to get some professional help. There are a lot of good psychologists and coaches out there who are there to help you.

    It may be appropriate to select cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which focuses on specific behaviors that your specific anger-behavior.

    In psychodynamic psychotherapy generally you approaching the feelings behind your behaviors, or from below. The client learns here feel their emotional life, including his own life story, and can then identify sources of disappointments that caused the raw anger.

    whatever assistance you may choose, the most important thing is to speak to someone about your problems. If it feels wrong to turn to someone you know, talking to someone at a clinic or church is good start.

  3. To dare to feel, to remain in a sense, it is important to do because of our different emotions tell us what we need. It is important to distinguish between the feeling of such anxiety and what the underlying feeling of anxiety trying to tell us.


Practical tips

One of the more difficult aspects of anger management is to find something to direct their anger against, of course, the anger is used to set clear limits but in order to spare surrounding your pure aggression, it is very important to find "replacement" to direct your anger towards. This part is really about symbolization, to let anything get symbolize evil, against whom your anger is directed. It is also important to try to focus on the root of your aggressive feelings, so it is always important to also listen to their anger, to find out what you really are angry. Here are a few tips on how to go about expressing their anger, whilst mentally direct it against what you believe to be the root of anger.


1 - Physical Exercise

Physical Exercise is good in many ways to reduce your anger level. Above all, fitness is a very efficient valve for your anger. Function both as a preventive measure because the aggression and stress reduces the body as a result of physical activity, but works equally well in the middle of a rage attack.

Run away the anger

Martial arts, there are differing views on martial arts exercise is appropriate for truly aggressive people. Of course martial arts work just as well as anger suppressors, the other physical activity whatsoever, while also increasing responsibility in the martial arts practitioner to learn how to manage their anger in other contexts, because he has special knowledge of how to physically harm others. Horse in itself can not teach someone to manage their anger, but it works very well as anger dampers.

Buy a punching bag

For those of you who do not know that martial arts are your thing, it can still be a good idea to get a punching bag. Punching Bags have proved very effective in learning to direct their anger while getting physically get rid of it.


2 - Shout out your anger!

Shout out your anger

Shout out your anger, find a place where you feel comfortable to belt out your aggression, no one dies of you to scream, but it might be embarrassing for some to cry out when others can hear you, maybe you can find a good spot out there in the woods, at sea or elsewhere.


3 - Verbalise your anger

Verbalise your anger

A good alternative to shout out his anger is to "write down their anger, one difference is that you are not in the same way physically" get out of you "anger and is more of a mental anger management. But the same Primis for writing as for the screaming, no one else needs to be damaged by that you write down your deepest thoughts and feelings on paper.


4 - Creativity


At all times have strong feelings transformed into creative works. To paint, write poetry or sing (the list goes on and on), can result not only masterpieces but also to do during your your handling of your anger.

Paint a masterpiece?

By transforming your anger into shapes, tones and objects, align, and transform, while your anger. An excellent way to manage all sorts of awkward emotions.


5 - to listen to their feelings

A common problem is not daring to remain in the emotions when they get heavy and hard. But to do just the present, is often the way to be relieved of these unpleasant feelings experienced unmanageable.

Listen to your inner

In the case of anger can be particularly difficult to find the emotions behind the anger, the emotions that trigger anger. This is because the body is put in combat readiness. So it may be a good idea to carry some form of physical activity (but not yourself out) to get rid of some stress, but try to keep the anger inside of you (usually no problem). Relax for a while, you will now know that you can control the focus a bit more, lie flat on the ground or on the bed (choose a place where you feel you can relax), close your eyes. The tanks will now go around in your head and it will probably feel like you are going to break. Remain. Focus on your breathing, take control of respiration. Then focus on your body's different parts, try to get the idea every part of your body relaxed, and finish with your face.


It is much easier to relax if you get some help. One tip I would give you is to get some relaxation disk .

While you relax, you know that the feelings within you by storm and it may seem as if these escalate to the unbearable. But you can overcome it just lay there and focus on relaxing, you will experience the feeling that you first experienced as completely unworkable, it becomes less and less intimidating. In addition to getting used to the feeling in the unpleasant, approaching you also for this reason that triggered your anger started. Sometimes these causes and is identified with in that state. Maybe it was the feeling that trigger your anger, you felt you off yet again, the behavior of the person who teased you up reminding you of something you have experienced several times before in your life. Usually, we are really quite aware of a plan of what triggers our anger, but we often choose to (as the opposite often is painful) to turn those feelings and instead remain slaves to our anger.


6 - Self-esteem and self-knowledge

When tied together by listening to their feelings is to develop self-esteem and self-knowledge. Anyone who has a good self-awareness typically know to a greater extent why and in what situations he might react with anger. A good self-knowledge is a prerequisite to understand their anger and distinguish between justified anger from misguided anger. Think about what situations you tend to react with anger and whether there is a difference between how this anger is experienced due out situation. Think about who goes beyond the anger, the person who triggered the anger? your spouse? or yourself?


7 - Face your past

your past

Learning to deal with anger is often to do with its past. There are theories that say that the anger caused by all the disappointments we experienced in our lives. Our designs all look different, but many times it is similar disappointments that's about it in one way or another has felt let down or ignored.

It is possible, but sometimes take a long time

What to do with its past is closely linked to self-esteem and self-knowledge but also means that at some point say, "Enough is enough '," I understand that that is why I feel that I know but would no longer be controlled by these feelings, " to reconcile, accept and finally leave parts of their anger behind them often requires much processing and time. Before you reach all the way there is a fine line between that recognize these disappointments, the anger was fed by them and to focus on these feelings may not be fully linked to the current rage-situation.


8 - To act or not act

To act or not act, that is the question.

To activate itself can often be a good idea if you experience emotions, but occasionally conduct amounts to instead flee their feelings. A degree and escape, all people carry themselves. The classic example is the men who go out and mow the lawn when they cook inside. This handler is not per defenition wrong, but can be a wise choice, provided that you also reflect on what triggered the anger inside. As before, this process is the feelings our compass through life, no one gets mad for no reason, even if our compass occasionally needs correction, and above all we need to learn to read it.


9 - To calm down

To calm down

A first emergency strategy for strongly outward behavior of people, is learning to calm down, to restrain his anger. How does this fit with what previously had been written about the best way to deal with anger is to express it? Sure there is still the best for me as a person physiologically to express my anger directly through one extroverted behavior, but as before, this process, means our lives more than just our physiology. The ripple effects of a impulsivtagerande can lead not only to the destruction of others around me, but also lead to great personal suffering after the event (remorse and guilt). Learning to calm down is a necessary step for some people, the first step in this calm is to physically get from the site so that an attack is impossible, a problem with this approach is that any sådannt conduct reinforces the image of the person that he is not unable to control his anger. If you manage to stay in place without having to physically harm anyone else, it is advantageous to do so. What calms you when all you want is to hit the idiot crushed to a pulp? Breathing is a very important part to calm down. Focus on breathing in and out, breathe deeper breaths, inhaling through the nose and out through the mouth. To calm himself aiding a single voice can also help. Try to focus on the person in question do not believe that means so much, put the incident in perspective, pep yourself you are master of anger, it is you that decide whether you should hit or not, not anger. When you calm yourself, it is desirable to go back if it seems like a possibility. Important is that if it's all about a situation where it might have been your girlfriend / boyfriend that trigger anger, at a later time when you feel sufficiently calm to keep it all on the call level, tell your partner how you felt whole and how angry you were when (but try to stick to the current situation and fit not to throw out of you a lot of other anger at the same time). This way you not only get out your anger, but has clearly shown where your limit is at the same time gives you second chance to change.


10 - Putting up boundaries = love

Setting personal bounderies

To adapt and to not make demands has become something of an ideal society, there is a desire to have only "comfortable" people around them.

Putting up bounderies is an act of love

But contrary to what many believe is the boundary issues many times an expression of love. By showing what you need and what you want, show you who you are and what you stand for, then it is also possible for others to proceed on you. In addition, do you speak this way about what others might require of you. Conflict Fear is one of our society's biggest problem areas, too much adaptation often leads to anger and bitterness.

Learn to love yourself

It is not easy to gloves with anger, feeling angry and annoyed with others give us tyvvärr guilt and shame. But to walk around and find that it is a bad person, unfortunately, significantly reduces the chances of overcoming their aggression. It is therefore important to try to be "soft" against himself rather than to judge you get to try to accept that right now I do not mightily with being so kind to everyone as I would like to be.

Enjoy yourself and others

A good way to learn to like yourself is really bothering about how you feel. This can be done in several different ways, but to give himself a little well-deserved rest or fuss with something you like is a great way to prove self worth.

Another way might be that when you feel guilt and shame and think "damn why did I do so, to then actually say to yourself that there is no danger the world is not over and I get new avenues to show those I love I actually love them.

Then we have of course to enjoy life as best they can. Nature makes us happier, a walk always do the heavy thoughts somewhat easier. Other proposals effective anger and anxiety, massage, spa, go on konstuställning, see a good band (preferably something with a bit of pace so you can dance / shake out a little anger!)

Whatever you choose to do so, I am convinced that the love for yourself will allow the unbridled anger disappears.


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What gets you angry? How you handle your anger? Tell us!